invade my heart

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing, and perfect will."
Romans 12:2 


I'll admit something. Lately, I've been craving Reconciliation with my Lord. I confess that I have become comfortable in my faith. I have compared my faith to the faith of the world surrounding me, and let myself off the hook. I have been given the gift of a natural Faith, a heart that believes and trusts with every cell. In comparison to those around me, I can easily tell myself that I do enough--that I can slow down. I can feel this sensation creeping up on me over time. It doesn't happen all at once, but over a few months. I begin to experience a routine faith: daily conversation with God, regular mass attendance, but a slow separation between other parts of my life and God. To me, this is the point where I begin to notice my need for Reconciliation. I desire a faith that overwhelms and pours over into my entire life. We cannot live a compartmentalized life, only welcoming God into our "Sunday Self." I desire God to fill every nook and cranny of my life, and I especially invite Him into those dark places--those that are most untouched by His light. 


When I experience a lack of passion in my faith, it is mostly characterized by an overall feeling that I can rationalize sin in my life. It's hard to be critical of the sin in my life when I am surrounded by people of all types--if "Everyone's doing it, why can't I?" And surely, "why should I feel bad about it if no one else does?" But rationalizing sin only weakens my heart and makes me ordinary. As a Christian, I strive to be extraordinary--a disciple worthy of carrying on Christ's work in the world. Just as it is easy to slip out of healthy living habits, it is easy to get lazy in faith.


Anything that does not build up, encourage and beautify my life is not God. It is so easy to be discouraged by the world around me, but I must be strong and constantly remind myself of this. I must admit that I am a sinner, and I must cling to God and place in Him the hope of my Salvation. God came down from Heaven in order to "save sinners of whom I am first." God doesn't want to expose my sin in order to put me on a guilt trip, but rather, He exposes my sins in order for me to understand that my life means something to Him. He removes my sin so I can love others the way He loves them.


No longer do I approach religion; rather, I approach a relationship. Jesus isn't just some great role model to me, He is my life. I am in love; I am in relationship with Christ; God is my Father who is always by my side. 


I pray that God will expose all of the sin in my life. I pray that He will expose all that is not of Him in my heart. Any sin, big or small, pushes me farther away from Him. I deal with the same sins over & over again, but I will not lose hope. I constantly lay my life down before Christ, and offer Him my entire heart. As God has been exposing my sins to me, I am liberated from them, they no longer are a part of me. He breaks me down only to rebuild me again in order to shelter His name. 


As God reveals more and more things in my life that I must let go of, I only fall deeper and deeper in love with Him. There are scars in my life that I never thought would heal, but as long as I am in the Light, and allow God to encourage me, I am free. My most well kept secrets, my deepest shames--He has already forgiven me. Through His Sacrifice, He perfects me. 


It amazes me how God can still inspire my faith deeper, stretch my heart wider, and liberate me even more from the chains of sin. I no longer am worried. I don't look to what others have or what I think I want. Instead, I look to Him. I know in my heart that He is--truly--all I need. He already is giving me a thrilling ride, setting my heart on fire, and revealing Himself to me around every corner. 


If you open your eyes to what's going on around  you, I guarantee you'll find God working in your life. It just takes some time to practice being mindful. God doesn't always appear in the people that "make" your day. Sometimes He reveals Himself to us in those who we do not necessarily feel attracted to. We must seek out those who are cast out, those who feel they have little worth, and allow God to work through us in order to reach their hearts. By opening up our lives to "the least of these," you will welcome God in through the front door of your life. We are not called to cover our Light, but to be a Light to the world around us that is covered by darkness. There are so many people out there who cannot "see" because of the darkness that consumes their lives. Let us wake up and be that Light for these people.


I am reconciling my heart with God. I am coming home, and I have set aside my anxieties. It is so natural and simple for me to search relentlessly for what I think I need in order to be fulfilled. Have you ever wanted to be someone else? Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems? "If I could only have that job, if only I could make more money, if only I had a boyfriend--then I'd be happy." How human is this thought process? Sadly, once we attain what it is we think we need, we are left seeking something else. We try to fill our hearts with so many things, so many other relationships, so many false hopes; when the only way to truly feel full is by letting go of everything -- all attachments, all desires, all plans -- and surrender to Him alone: "Our hearts are restless until they rest in You" (St. Augustine of Hippo).


<3

courage

{[thanks mom <3]}


Courage is grace under pressure.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

Courage takes many forms.  There is physical courage, there is moral courage, then there is a still higher type of courage, -- the courage to brave pain, to live with it, to never let others know of it and to still find joy in  life; to wake up in the morning with an enthusiasm for the day ahead.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror.  I can take the next thing that comes along."

What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?

From the Book:

The Change-Your-Life Quote Book

by Allen Klein

life without borders

Hey! So, I'm sorry for not posting for a while, but here I am with something worth blogging about. Last night I went to Old St. Pat's to listen to Father Michael Pfleger, the pastor of St. Sabina's, speak about justice without borders. Pfleger is known for his liberal activism throughout Chicago and beyond. He has been involved in many issues and is the founder of many employment resource centers, youth centers, shelters, etc. in Chicago. He is especially concerned with breaking down the walls of racism and denominationalism by building unity among all people based on Jesus' command to love one another. 


I was really inspired by Pfleger's talk on social justice. So, I'm going to try to sum up what he talked about, and add in my two cents, if ya don't mind. He talked about how today's church has developed a lot of "safety rules." Unlike the early church, that could be described as "dangerous," we live in a period where we do not want to offend one another, we don't want to talk about anything controversial. Basically, churches today have become places that don't want to rock the boat. But, Pflager dared us to become part of a dangerous church, more like that of the Apostles. We must leave our comfort zone and go to where the pain is. According to Pflager, and I'd have to agree, Jesus was the most dangerous man that has ever lived. Jesus knocked down the tables of tax collectors, He befriended criminals and prostitutes, and ultimately He was crucified for His challenge to the status quo. Working for social justice issues is never going to be easy, it comes with a cost. The question is, do we have the courage to be different, to stand up to institutions and systems of injustice, and to be a voice for the voiceless? Are we ready to be possibly cast out or persecuted for these actions? 


The call to be a Christian does not involve conformity or compliance. The call doesn't ask us to be conservative. The call asks us to live outside of the norm, to avoid conforming to the world that surrounds us, to be a light within the darkness. 


Pfleger has stood up to a variety of issues including militarism, racism, sexism, violence, classicism, inadequate education, the celebrity culture and the disproportionate incarceration of young black men. 


He brought up a good question, asking why the shooting of U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords was so widely covered in the press when children are losing their lives to violence and going unnoticed. He told us that we must become just as outraged when children die everyday who are of color. It's true. It got me thinking, why do we, as a culture, give greater value to some people? Honestly, I really don't care to hear another update about William and Kate's royal wedding. Will ya just get married already! I don't think we need to know about the cake, the dress, the reception. That's great for them, really, but why must we make them so much more important than my brother who's getting married in October? Or my neighbor who's tying the knot this fall? Of course, I don't expect the press to be covering these weddings, but I'm only trying to make the point that we live in a culture that is so obsessed with the lives of the "elite," of a select few. So much so that we have to hear every detail about their lives. I want to know about the woman who lost her son to gang violence on the west side of my city. I want to know about the dress that my future sister-in-law is going to be wearing at her wedding. I want to know what's on your heart and in your mind. Want to know why? Because you have value. Just as much as William, just as much as Kate, and just as much as Rep. Giffords. No single person on this planet is any more or any less valuable than another. We are all an essential part of the Body of Christ. 


Jesus didn't exist in a world confined by a "church." Every single person, Jew and Gentile alike, were (and are) a part of His church. He never set up any borders to His Kingdom. There were no fancy buildings, no dues, no dress codes. The only requirement to be a part of the Kingdom of God is love. Love without borders. Compassion without borders. Justice without borders. Forgiveness without borders. 


So, how do we get there, you ask? Well, I'd have to say that we must listen to what our hearts are telling us. What are you most compassionate about? Are there any issues of injustice that can't seem to stop bothering you? If not, maybe start by volunteering at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen, I can almost guarantee inspiration. Another great idea that I just came across is keeping a gratitude journal. I was told to write five things everyday that I was grateful for. I'm not going to lie, at first I was like, 'crap how am I going to think of FIVE things EVERY day?' Um...Dana, seriously? The first day I sat down to write, I went on for four pages. Give it a try, it's fun and really eye opening. Most importantly, we have to stop asking, stop pleading, stop worrying so much--and just listen. God doesn't scream or yell the answers to us, but instead, He whispers them into our hearts. The world is not against us, as it may seem to be at times, it is actually here to embrace us -- but only if we allow it to. 


The most important thing (some would argue) about being a Christian is not going to Church every Sunday, it's not about being afraid to break the rules that man has made regarding the Eucharist and other church doctrine, I'd have to say it's not even about fully believing that Christ is the "only" way. (eek that might have really offended some people, lo siento) Being a real Christian, a real son or daughter of God, a real citizen of humanity, is about helping our brothers and sisters that are less fortunate. In simpler words, it's about being a huge, overflowing, tub of LOVE. Not just for those that are in our own circles, but for every single dingle one of us--convicts, gang members, nuns, spoiled kids, grandpas, grandmas, the mentally ill, the overly pious, the pot head down the block, those that are different from us--even the guy who has really sweaty hands that you don't want to shake during the sign of peace. YES, all of those--we are to LOVE them. Jesus doesn't love me any more or any less than He loves you, nor any more or less than he loves a violent gang member. Jesus has instructed us:

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’" 

-Matthew 25: 35-40

The way that we treat others, especially the "least of these," is the way that we treat the Lord. Let this be on our minds as we go throughout our days. Let us not be tricked by our culture that tries to make us believe that celebrities are of more value than the homeless man who stands at the Fullerton exit every single day. Let us make decisions governed by love and let us not be afraid to do the work that we are called to do. Let us stand up to injustice and care for the "least of these." Let us not be afraid of one another. Let us go beyond ourselves. Let us live our lives without borders.


-dana


Thanks for reading, I apologize if I offended anyone, feel free to let me know if I did! 

gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead 

And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .