love never fails: let your love grow tall

So, since I've been bad at updating the last couple of weeks, I'm just going to do a quick recap of some of the highlights that have happened. I promise to try to be more diligent about updates!!

Over the last couple of weeks a few big things have happened! For one thing, I went home for my cousin Geoff and Jackie's wedding, and got to dance all night long with my favorite people in the world--the cousins! It was really amazing to be home for a weekend. The weekend actually turned into a couple days longer than planned since I got a little sick with Crohn's stuff. Luckily, Father Scott was really understanding and allowed me to take time off until I felt better. So, I got back to LA on Wednesday morning. Paula Morreale picked me up from the airport after laughing about the fact that I said I could take a bus--"you're definitely NOT from LA if you think you can get anywhere in a bus, Dana!" Paula is a LIFEsaver!

It was a little tough to come back to East LA after being home with my family for the long weekend. I'm not going to lie, it would've been really easy and way more comfortable to just stay home--knowing that Paula is here in LA really helped me to feel more at home. After Paula left I was home alone in the casa for a bit until I had to go into work. I walked around the house, which seemed so foreign compared to the life I left behind in Chicago. I felt incredibly homesick and displaced. Why am I here? Am I really cut out for this JVC thing? Who am I kidding? Can I really make it another full year? Maybe I can just gracefully bounce out before I get in too deep...? These thoughts were going through my head as I walked around and reacquainted myself with this house, with my home. I found myself grabbing onto the kitchen sink for stability in my panic. I looked up and caught a glimpse of the sun shining down through the clouds, through the window, and onto my hands. Finally, I felt quiet and at peace. I took a breath and felt a little silly for forgetting the one thing that I know: God is here with me. I am never alone. I felt God's warmth envelop me once I allowed myself to become present to the moment. I knew at that moment the answer to my questions. I recommitted myself to my reason for being here. I am here for You, Lord. Yes, I am afraid, I am uncomfortable, I miss my family and friends who affirm me and love me, I am homesick, and I feel inadequate for the work I am doing many times. But, I am not here to prove anything to anyone. I am here because I have experienced a Love far better than anything I ever imagined possible. Essentially, I am in love. Now, if you've ever been in love, it's a pretty tough thing to try to ignore. All you can think about is the burning question, "how can I get more, when can I get my fix?" So I'm totally aware that at this point I sound like a bible thumping Jesus freak. And, I'm hoping that if you're reading this blog, you know me fairly well, and know that this isn't the case. And as for question number 2 that I know you're thinking, NO I am not going to become a nun. I'm glad we have that settled. haha. What I am saying is this: I have been blessed to experience God in my life. I have experienced Him through the people that He has placed around me, through the deep love that He pours through them. I have experienced His presence in the highest of times, and I have felt His hands holding mine in the lowest of times. Sometimes He just decides, for no apparent reason, to squeeze my heart and remind me in the middle of the day that He is with me (in case I forgot). He has made Himself present in my life. So present that I cannot pretend to ignore Him. And people do crazy things when they're in love. Crazy things like JVC. And although it gets tough, really tough, at times, I am renewed and I am better when I am reminded by Him that we are here together. Someone once told me to talk to God about the things that you are doing together. So God, I'm here, I'm back, I'm ready to keep doing the things that we have planned together. I am captivated by You.

As for a few of the events that have happened over the past couple of weeks:

*Shout out to Andy WIENS for visiting Ita Ford and taking me to Yogurtland. I don't think we stopped laughing the entire time we were together. YUP!

*Jovenes Seguros (the summer camp @ Dolores Mission) has wrapped up it's eight week program. Last week we took the kids hiking in Pasadena, which ended up being a bit of a disaster but a great adventure. No one had enough water, the kids were getting really tired, we got lost on the trail and ended up walking a mile up the wrong part of the mountain! But, eventually we made it to the waterfalls and jumped in the cold water. It was all worth it.

*Youth Group has been fun, last week we had a movie and pizza night. A couple of the girls helped Paula and I pick out a movie--we ended up watching "The Back-Up Plan" which was pretty cute. This past Thursday we took the YG to the downtown ArtWalk. It was SO cool. There were tons and tons of people there which was a bit problematic trying to keep track of everyone. I felt like such a mom since I was constantly counting my crew to make sure everyone was accounted for! The other funny part of that night was that a few Planned Parenthood representatives were handing out condoms to our kids. That'll be fun to explain to the parents when their high schoolers come home from Youth Group with a supply of condoms. Yay.

*Taught my first yoga class this past Wednesday. There were only five of us, but it was really great. A couple of men came, which was a nice surprise! People really seemed to like the class. The next day, Alex told me that he felt really good, so that made me smile.

*We met Father Greg! Father Greg Boyle is the man who started Homeboy Industries. If you don't know what Homeboy is, definitely google it. It's a program to get gang members out of a bad lifestyle and into a new and productive one. He has made an incredible difference in so many peoples' lives and has improved the LA gang scene exponentially. If you're looking for a good read, try "Tatoos on the Heart" written by Father Greg Boyle....So, what happened was that we went to see Fr. Greg speak at USC. After the talk, he recognized us to be Jesuit Volunteers. He told us to wait while he finished signing books, and then he rounded us all up. He started walking out the door, and beckoning to us to follow him, all he said was "First round's on Homeboy." Yes, we got a drink with Father Greg Boyle. Pretty sweet.

*On a personal level, I have been setting goals for the next year. Little things I want to work on in order to grow in relationship with God, others, and also to become healthier in general. One thing that I have been struggling with is the decision to drink alcohol or not while being here this year. It is not a requirement for JV's to abstain from drinking while on their year of service, but it is something to think about. Alcohol is a big social justice issue in the communities that we serve. Many of the people that I serve suffer from abusive situations that are caused by the negative affects of alcohol. I am only given $100/month to spend for personal things. Personally, I would way rather use that money for good food, traveling, or sweet events than alcohol. I laid down all of these reasons for not using alcohol this year, but something was still bothering me. I realized that the only thing that held me back from not drinking was the fact that I knew there would be a lot of social events this year that revolve around drinking. It is always just a little awkward to be one of the few not drinking. So, why put myself through that social awkwardness? There's nothing wrong with having just one drink. But, the fact that I was trying to so hard to excuse myself from giving up alcohol was my answer. I decided, once and for all, to give up alcohol for this year. There have already been challenges to this goal: the wedding, celebrating in general, going out with Father Greg (he laughed a little when I ordered a Diet Coke haha), etc. People are really supportive, but it's tough. But, now that I've written it down, and now that all of you know this, I am accountable!

*Last but not least, the thing I am most excited about! I am starting a Dance Company for the Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers in my community. Just down the street from Dolores Mission Parish is a rec center that serves the kids who live in the projects surrounding it. I noticed that one of the basketball gyms also has mirrors and a ballet barre on one of the walls. So, I got the idea to try and start a dance company. For about a week, I struggled with finding the right person to talk to about this goal, and was shut down many times. I was told that I'd have to pay $40/hour in order to rent the space. But, finally, I found the right guy to talk to, and he agreed to give me the space for free since I wasn't looking to make any profit from this. He is allowing me to have the space for two hours every monday, and in May (May 7th to be exact) he is letting me use the space for a Showcase Performance! I am so excited to start, and already have found a good number of kids who want to be involved. I have found that one of the biggest issues for the girls in this community is their self-consciousness. Most of them suffer from a terrible self image, and I truly believe that if they saw themselves the way that I see them-as beautiful young women-they would begin see that they deserve the best! I am excited to see how dance can help them to see their personal beauty. I am hoping to document their progress from the first day until the showcase. If any readers are interested in sending old dance leotards or ballet/jazz shoes for our use, please let me know! Most of the kids that I am serving don't have more than a couple pairs of shoes for everyday, let alone dance shoes. So, I know that is going to be a tough situation. Please contact me if you can help :0)

Ok, so I know that was only a fraction of what I've experienced in the last couple of weeks, but it's a start. I won't go that long again without a little update. But, thank you so much for reading! God bless!